Desperate and Broken
by scooter13
Summary: Nothing can ever be the same, so it's a good thing they don't want that.  MassKink prompt


This is a response to a MassKink meme: _FemShep and Kaiden - Angry frustrated sex. Kaiden taking charge. Not sure the exact word for it, but I'd like it :) _Hope this is enough. Warning: There is angry, rough sex ahead. Not quite non-con, but almost, so beware.

* * *

Tegan Shepard sat in the Dark Star lounge, a bright blue Salarian drink sitting in front of her, the wet circle at it's base over-lapping several others. Her fingernails tapped against the surface of the smooth table, Tegan deliberately keeping them slow and measured, trying to block out the pounding music.

She sits with her back against the wall, her position affording her a view of most of the room, including the crowded doorway. He was late, but then again, considering what had happened on Horizon, she wouldn't be surprised if he'd decided to pussy out again.

Her fingernails falter only briefly, the steady tapping filled in with the uneven, perfectly timed beats of the techno music blaring around the lounge before they resume they're measured rhythm.

She felt him before she saw him, that frisson of energy indicating his particular brand of biotics crawling up her spine and wrapping itself around her brain stem in a simple, hot caress. She turns her head only slightly, easily making out his swarthy coloring, the tailored Alliance suit looking unbelievably good against his dark skin.

Even though she'd hated him, got into his face when they were on Horizon, she couldn't deny that a part of her still wanted him. Kaiden Alenko had stood there in front of her, hands clenched at his side, the easiness of the hug already gone from his body, and had accused her as freely as he'd pleased.

She should have reasoned, tried to make him see what was happening, but they had both been hot-tempered, though Kaiden had always been better at reigning his in. So she'd lashed at him, and he'd walked away disgusted and self righteous, and she'd stood there seething.

Now, watching him stalk towards her, she knew he had not forgotten and was not near ready to forgive. But they both needed to talk this through because the Reapers were coming and she needed the Alliance's support and Kaiden was the fastest way to them.

When he finally stopped in front of her table, she offered up a wry smile and lifted her glass in greeting. He scowled back, the familiar lines that indicated a migraine sketched deep into his brow. "Wanna sit?" she asks, trying to be conversational, slowly losing her patience when he shakes his head. He leans down, trying to be heard over the music.

"Need someplace quieter," he says, wincing when the music suddenly spins and turns into an odd mix of screeching strings and hard bass. Tegan nods and downs her drink, placing the glass on the table and waving her omni-tool over the screen set into the table. The blue gives way to green, indicating her payment has been accepted and Tegan scoots out of the booth, standing a little unsteadily, hoping she hadn't drunk as much as she thinks she did.

Kaiden scowls again and turns on his heel, leading her around the crowd, past the loud speakers set up in the walls, and stops in front of an annoyed looking turian. They exchange a few words and the turian perks up, straightening and taps some numbers into the panel he had been leaning against, hiding it from view.

Tegan watches with curiousity, not realizing the Dark Star had private rooms, thinking that those should be reserved for cess pool back waters like Omega. A panel slides open and Kaiden slips inside with a quick glance at Tegan, who quickly steps in after him. The room is small but brightly lit.

Set up against one wall is a couch, and in the middle is a small table with two chairs around it. A coffee maker sits in the corner on a rickety metal table, and when Tegan turns, she realizes the wall is actually a two way mirror of sorts.

"It's an observation post," Kaiden says mildly, standing in the small room, his back straight, hands held at his side. Tegan nods, watching the patrons through the slightly tinted glass. When she does turn, she's taken by how the entire set-up, put together by C-Sec and the Alliance, looks nothing like the rest of the advanced city and more like a set from an old Earth vid.

The couch is slightly dipped and looks nowhere near new; the tables and chairs are cheap and don't match, the plastic ripped away at some parts. And then there's Kaiden, standing still and at attention, his dark eyes narrowed, smooth skin shining under the bright lights. "Well?" he asks, and his voice is still that sexy rasp she remembers, his generous mouth moving and twisting just so that she can't help but stare.

But she's pissed off and more than a little drunk so she opts for extreme nonchalance, crossing her arms and leaning against the window, smirking. "You were the one who wanted to talk," Tegan drawls back, the corners her lips pulling up.

"You sent the message," Kaiden rasps, a flare of biotics running from the corner of his lip up into his hairline. Tegan wants to grin, knows that's a sign that he's losing control but is desperately holding on.

"Well," she says, pushing herself up, cocking a hip now and leaning forward, "No. I replied to your message. The one you sent that got this started." He's scowling again, hands starting to clench at his sides, a small blue burst flaring up from his fingers and disappearing into the sleeve of his uniform.

Kaiden watches her, and she's suddenly too hot, the bright lights seeming to beat down on her and now she's just tired and angry. Dropping her head, she sighs, the muscles in her back and shoulders aching. "Listen, this isn't what I want to do. I just came here to apologize."

When Kaiden snorts, Tegan lifts her head, jaw clenched and angry.

"Yeah, I'm sure," Kaiden shoots back, eyes bright. "This has nothing to do with your Reapers or the fact you need the Alliance now that Cerberus has kicked your ass off it's pay roll."

Tegan feels her jaw drop, knows she standing there staring like an idiot but her brain had suddenly stopped. His words seem to take forever to register, the implications of what he's saying moving through her mind like molasses and when she finally understands what he's saying and sees the hard resolve in his eyes, she can't help the rage that bubbles up in her.

"_My_ Reapers?" Tegan yells incredulously, "You were there! You heard Sovereign, you fought beside me against Saren. Fuck sakes, Kaiden, you saw that Prothean projection just as much as I did. My Reapers?" And now she's shaking, because it's such a fucking insult to hear this from him. Even after Horizon, she knew, had thought she'd known, that Kaiden was still waiting for the Reapers, still trying to get the Council to see reason. But he stands in front of her, all wounded pride and angry man and she sees that hardness in his eyes.

"As for Cerberus, _I_ left _them_! I told the Illusive Man to fuck himself when I blew up a human Reaper!" This gets him, she can see by the way his eyes widen and fists slacken just enough. "Yeah, Kaiden. Those colonists weren't just disappearing for the hell of it." But he's angry again, and she sees him close off. "But you're not going to help," and she's mocking now, angry and lashing out.

* * *

He narrows his eyes again, fists clenching. "We need proof, Shepard, not just the testimony of a traitor." He's so self-righteous, so sure of himself that he doesn't see the fist, but feels it collide with the side of his face, the pain exploding in his mind.

Without thinking, he sends out a warp, hears the dull thud of a body hitting the wall and thanks whatever god is listening that this room in reinforced and sound proof. But his head is ringing with the combined pain of his migraine and her hit and so he doesn't hear the heavy footsteps, the unsteady gait of one who is drunk and dizzy and pissed as all hell.

She grasps his hair and Kaiden grits his teeth, gathering his biotics into a dark shimmer at his fingertips, ready to push her off, but when his finger tips touch her and she moans like that, he's brought back to what they were and is so infinitely angry that they can't go back to that.

But he curls his fingers around her arm anyway, feeling hard muscles tense underneath the tight fabric and soft skin. She's still grasping his hair, but her lips are moving underneath his and he barely notices the tugs of pain. He raises his other arm and places it on the back of her neck, pulling her in closer, taking a deep breath through his nose and moaning when she's flush against him.

He knows this is bad, and he knows this won't change anything; will, in fact, make it worse. But he has three years of hurt and confusion running through his system and all he wants is for her to realize what she's done.

* * *

She'd forgotten how muscular he was, his uniforms and slim form giving the idea that he was more wiry strength than anything else. But his muscles are firm against her own body, his tongue warm in her mouth and the biotic power he's gathered at his fingertips spread through her fabric and tease at her skin.

She should stop this because he will just be angrier at her and she needs his support. But when he caresses her tongue again and lets a small flow of biotic energy flow through him into her mouth, the tingling takes over all her senses and all she can feel is his hum of power.

Somewhere along the way they'd torn they're shirts off, and Tegan wonders dimly how her bra got all the way over there. He is sitting on the rotted looking couch, pulling her down onto him, eyes dark and promising, full lips swollen from their kissing.

She smiles, though, and steps back, pushing down at her tight trousers, toeing her boots off as best she can. When she's naked, Kaiden reaches up, and she shudders at his touch, feeling up her thigh and slipping between her legs. She moans and bites her lip when she feels the dark tingle again, moving along the lips of her labia, firm fingers caressing and stroking her clit. Kaiden stares up at her, full lips pulled into a smirk, an expression unfamiliar on his face but still looking so good.

He slips a finger between her lips, the digit pushing against her cunt, sliding in the wetness there and Tegan is moaning and plucking at her nipples, the alcohol hazing her mind and making all the sensations so much _more_. When he teases a finger tip into her, she whimpers and twists her nipples, wanting more. "Please, Kaiden, ugh. Please," and she's not sure what she's asking for, but he thrusts two fingers into her, rough and perfect and she feels her knees buckle, falling into him.

* * *

Kaiden pulls her down when she sways, pushing his fingers into her, twisting and revelling in the noises she's making, A part of him wonders if she's doing this to try and manipulate his vote, but that thought only fuels him more, wants to prove to her what she gave away.

He bites the top of her breast and lets another flow of biotics out through his fingers, capturing her nipple when she cries out and arches into him, her cunt tightening around him. He sucks and nips, the dark pebble swelling and reddening under his ministrations.

She's writhing on top of him, his fingers and hand slick as she grinds down on him, her fingers in his hair again, tugging him forward. Kaiden licks at her skin, tasting the sweat gathering between her breasts. Her sounds are so hot and her cunt is so tight that he's not sure how much longer he can tease her. So he releases her and she whines, her hands tugging at his hair, sliding down to his bare shoulders, fingernails digging into his skin and pulling him forward.

He reaches down, unzipping his pants and when his cock is finally freed, he groans at the release. Cries out when she lowers herself and rubs her slick lips against his length, fingernails digging into his shoulders. He grasps her hips and pushes up into her, doesn't want to wait, doesn't want to care about her, so he adjusts them just so and thrusts.

* * *

Tegan is unprepared for the sudden thrust, his cock pushing into her and she's suddenly, forcibly reminded that this body is new and no matter how many lovers she has had, this body isn't familiar with any of them.

So she cries out, tries to pull away from him, eyes shut and teeth clenched behind lips pulled back in pain. Kaiden either doesn't notice or doesn't care because he is still pushing up into her and even though she wants it to stop, a part of her feels justified in the pain, so forces her body to grind against his. He groans and she grabs his hair, forcing his head back and captures his full lower lip in her teeth, biting hard.

He grunts into her mouth, fingers tightening on her hips, a biotic flare biting into her flesh, bordering on painful and she knows it's a warning. Tegan can't care, though, because now she wants him to hurt and wants to feel that pain herself because she knows this was a bad idea.

When they walk out of here, they won't talk and nothing will be resolved, so Tegan wants this to be final and messy and horrible so they won't try to remember what they had through soft touches and whispered promises.

Releasing his lip, she moves to his cheek and bites at his cheek bone, relishing his grunt of surprise. He reciprocates on her neck, capturing the flesh there, just below her jaw line and in plain sight, savaging the skin.

Tegan gasps and scowls, grinding onto his cock, licking his ear lobe and nipping. One of Kaiden's hands has captured her breast and he's squeezing the flesh hard, his palm warm against her nipple. The flare of dark energy wraps itself around her entire breasts, centering into her nipple and the tingling is harsh and angry, urging Tegan on harder. His other hand reaches behind himself, bracing himself on the couch as he begins to thrust up into her.

She cries out at the added sensation, feeling herself get so close, the rough material of his trousers rubbing her clit just right. She feels herself tightening, her orgasm rushing up to meet her, but is stopped suddenly when Kaiden releases her breasts and grabs her hips, pulling her off and pushing her to the side.

Tegan snarls, turning to him, but Kaiden is standing and pushing his pants down, not removing them completely. "Can't have you staining the material," he rasps, his voice dark. She flushes with anger and mortification, can't believe this is the same man who professed to love her on Horizon and hates that this is who they are to each other, now.

But he's still standing, cock jutting and glistening in the light, his dark skin gleaming with sweat. Tegan, stares at him, moves with his hands when he begins to turn her over and braces herself on the back of the couch when she's on her knees, cheek pressed uncomfortably into the nubby material. He moves and is back inside her with one smooth thrust, not letting her adjust as he keeps moving within her.

She grits her teeth, reaching down to play with her clit, breath hitching on a moan when he leans down and catches her breasts again, twisting her nipples. She was already so close, and so it doesn't take much until she's screaming and coming, his fingers and biotics hard on her nipples, her clit slick and swollen between her own fingers.

She hears his grunts, can feel the erratic way his hips start slamming into her ass and knows he's close as well. When he comes, hands gripping her ass cheeks, she's already coming down and the buzz of sex and alcohol has been replaced by a sickening lump of loathing in her belly. He pulls out with an impersonal sound.

* * *

As they dress, they avoid looking at each other. He makes a small sound, and she already knows what he will say, doesn't listen as he coldly explains that the Council needs more proof, but her head shoots up when he explains the compromise.

"Wait, what?" she demands, hoping she'd misheard.

Kaiden scowls at her again, his lips twisted. "The Council wants to assign a liaison to your ship. This way, if something does happen, they will have a trust worthy testimony to work with."

The word choice twists in her gut and Tegan wants to hit him again. "And they chose you?" she asks, can't believe what she's hearing. When Kaiden nods tightly, Tegan looks over at the couch, now slightly more ruined, then back up to the officer in front of her. She knows he didn't intend this, wonders if he thinks she did, and finds herself not caring.

She just stands straighter, pulling her pride and command around her like a shield and nods once. "Very well, report to the Normandy at 0600 hours, Staff Commander." Then they both turn, he pushing past her to leave into the crowded lounge first, she ignoring the way the turian slants her a look before going back to looking annoyed.

* * *

When they greet each other the next day, they are cool and aloof, and if anyone notices the heat and hatred buried behind their eyes, it's not mentioned.


End file.
